Part 5 - Cabin Service
December 25th 2006 23:02
There was a moment for sadness as the DisQuientians, possibly the only 6 left in the entire universe; each mourned the death of their planet. Then music blared from the dashboard speakers. DisQuientians weren’t good with mourning.
“Come on,” said Bo. “We’ve got a victory dance to perform.”
The others cheered and took their places around the cockpit. The music blared and they danced the dance of victory.
I should probably take this moment to tell you a little more about the DisQuientians.
As a racial group of the ‘Cream for All’ galaxy their only true role was to complain. The planet was distant from the energy and vibrancy of the inner galaxy and was one of the last to be embraced by the Galactic Community. By the time the planet was discovered all of the good jobs had been taken.
HedLandia, nearer the centre of the galaxy was the galaxy’s administrator – its planetary motto ‘A bureaucracy for all’. Never had the motto been truer in the lead up to the destruction of DisQuientia. The reason for the planet destroying bomb being sent back to its origin was that one of the paper pushers on HedLandia discovered that the incorrect bomb forms had been submitted so the bomb could not possibly be accepted.
The planet VasTacreageia was taken as the family home of the Galactic Ruler – Prince Qu’ Ince. It was a vast acreage of bush, grassy fields, lakes, rivers, beaches, mountains and snowfields. Each of the 5 continents contained one mansion for the royal family and very little else above ground. In the dim past the natives of the planet chose to supplicate themselves to the ruling family for eternity, in return for neutrality and good public transport. To make room for the game hunting, swimming, orgies and general spacious relaxation intended for the royal family, they took to living in cavernous underground cities.
The war mongers of WarMongerlia were, despite the name, official gardeners to the Community, and, coincidentally, the florists of BudVineia took care of the wars.
All other useful jobs on a galactic scale were taken as more and more inhabited planets were discovered and embraced.
The only job left for DisQuientia was that of official complainer. It was their job to tell the government of the Galactic Community what they were doing wrong. It had worked very well for some time, until recently the government seemed to be turning a deaf ear to the DisQuientians and had stopped listening to complaints. This, of course, drove the DisQuientians bonkers and their messages to the Government got louder and louder until it was decided that the only way for their complaints to be heard was to send a massive planet destroying bomb somewhere and make a big noise about it.
Once the decision was made to destroy a planet it was left to the people of DisQuientia to decide on which one, and a referendum was arranged to allow the people to vote on which planet should be destroyed. The turn out was encouraging with 99.9999 percent of the population voting – and deciding by a landslide to destroy the bureaucrats.
The only people who didn’t vote were the lucky 6 , Re, Je, Bo, Ru, Hu and La. Long before the referendum they had decided to leave the galaxy on their journey in search of a peaceful and a quiet place to live.
“OK,” said Bo, the dance complete. “Enough of the commiserations and celebrations, we’ve got a long journey ahead and a lot of waiting to do. To your stations!”
Everyone returned to their assigned seat, except for Je, who busied herself with a trolley that had been stowed away under the microwave bench. Bo turned a knob in the arm of her chair and a large silver screen descended from ceiling.
Je pushed her trolley around the room and stopped at Hu, “The chicken or the beef?” she asked. Hu took the beef.
“OK, La,” commanded Bo, “hit the play button.”
The silver screen flickered to life as the first of a series of latest releases began to play.
Travelling faster than the speed of light the Beige Bummjob headed for the outer rim of the galaxy and into the void beyond.
“Come on,” said Bo. “We’ve got a victory dance to perform.”
The others cheered and took their places around the cockpit. The music blared and they danced the dance of victory.
-o0o-
I should probably take this moment to tell you a little more about the DisQuientians.
As a racial group of the ‘Cream for All’ galaxy their only true role was to complain. The planet was distant from the energy and vibrancy of the inner galaxy and was one of the last to be embraced by the Galactic Community. By the time the planet was discovered all of the good jobs had been taken.
HedLandia, nearer the centre of the galaxy was the galaxy’s administrator – its planetary motto ‘A bureaucracy for all’. Never had the motto been truer in the lead up to the destruction of DisQuientia. The reason for the planet destroying bomb being sent back to its origin was that one of the paper pushers on HedLandia discovered that the incorrect bomb forms had been submitted so the bomb could not possibly be accepted.
The planet VasTacreageia was taken as the family home of the Galactic Ruler – Prince Qu’ Ince. It was a vast acreage of bush, grassy fields, lakes, rivers, beaches, mountains and snowfields. Each of the 5 continents contained one mansion for the royal family and very little else above ground. In the dim past the natives of the planet chose to supplicate themselves to the ruling family for eternity, in return for neutrality and good public transport. To make room for the game hunting, swimming, orgies and general spacious relaxation intended for the royal family, they took to living in cavernous underground cities.
The war mongers of WarMongerlia were, despite the name, official gardeners to the Community, and, coincidentally, the florists of BudVineia took care of the wars.
All other useful jobs on a galactic scale were taken as more and more inhabited planets were discovered and embraced.
The only job left for DisQuientia was that of official complainer. It was their job to tell the government of the Galactic Community what they were doing wrong. It had worked very well for some time, until recently the government seemed to be turning a deaf ear to the DisQuientians and had stopped listening to complaints. This, of course, drove the DisQuientians bonkers and their messages to the Government got louder and louder until it was decided that the only way for their complaints to be heard was to send a massive planet destroying bomb somewhere and make a big noise about it.
Once the decision was made to destroy a planet it was left to the people of DisQuientia to decide on which one, and a referendum was arranged to allow the people to vote on which planet should be destroyed. The turn out was encouraging with 99.9999 percent of the population voting – and deciding by a landslide to destroy the bureaucrats.
The only people who didn’t vote were the lucky 6 , Re, Je, Bo, Ru, Hu and La. Long before the referendum they had decided to leave the galaxy on their journey in search of a peaceful and a quiet place to live.
-o0o-
“OK,” said Bo, the dance complete. “Enough of the commiserations and celebrations, we’ve got a long journey ahead and a lot of waiting to do. To your stations!”
Everyone returned to their assigned seat, except for Je, who busied herself with a trolley that had been stowed away under the microwave bench. Bo turned a knob in the arm of her chair and a large silver screen descended from ceiling.
Je pushed her trolley around the room and stopped at Hu, “The chicken or the beef?” she asked. Hu took the beef.
“OK, La,” commanded Bo, “hit the play button.”
The silver screen flickered to life as the first of a series of latest releases began to play.
Travelling faster than the speed of light the Beige Bummjob headed for the outer rim of the galaxy and into the void beyond.
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