Part 22 - Oh My...
March 3rd 2007 07:09
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I was beside myself. What was going to happen to my career? What was going to happen to Re? What was going to happen to that glimmer of Hope I’d seen in that strange place, between his legs?
Bert finally came to his office, all smiles and praise, “Brilliant!” he said. “Fantastic!” he wiped his hands through his hair, it didn’t look any better as a result, and sat behind his desk. “You have single-handedly caught your first, OUR first alien being!”
“Really?” I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t hearing. Bert faded. I would be kicked out of The Ministry for sure, fraternising with an alien species on a Ministerial sofa. It was more than my job was worth.
Perhaps it was for the best, perhaps I should be fired. I could go out west, into the desert, infiltrate the secret underground facility and break Re out, set him free.
That would be hopeless. He would go back to his people, he’d lead The Ministry directly to them then they’d all be caught, and I’d end up in jail.
Perhaps I could locate his friends. Yes, that’s the best plan. Find out where he lives and find his friends. Surely they, a superior race, would be do a better job of breaking him free. Then they could leave this planet, take me with them? Oh yes, I would lose my job for sure but that wouldn’t matter. All I needed was to stay in the city, go back to Petersham and begin my search from there.
Bert’s babble regained focus with the last phrase I expected to hear, “You’re definitely getting a promotion!”
‘Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness.’ Re sat at the table, his entire body overtaken by the most excruciating pain. There was no beginning and no end, it seemed to be everywhere. There was something happening inside him, like he'd been seeded by some alien creature and the offspring was ready to break free. He tensed his muscles and scrunched up his face but the pain only got worse.
Some force, some almighty event was happening down below, in his jumpsuit, round the back. He couldn’t hold on any longer. A small explosion ecchoed around the room and Re felt instant relief.
He opened his eyes and looked around the table, now his three interrogators looked distressed.
“Oh my, oh!” one of them exclaimed. “How long have you been holding on to that?”
“I don’t know, but I think there’s more to come!” he was embarrassed and disgusted with himself. Never before had his body lost control in such a manner.
“You mean you don’t know what just happened?” asked one of the other interrogators.
“No, but please forgive me, it won’t happen again.”
“You mean to say,” said the third interrogator, “that was your first fart?”
“Is that what you call it? Is it commonly done here?”
“Yes," said the first interrogator, “we all do it.”
“Oh, well, perhaps you could answer this question for me." Re paused, searching for the right words, "I have another sensation in my body, similar to the fart thing, but this one seems to have more ... substance. Should I perhaps be concerned?”
“I think we should all be concerned,” said the first interrogator. “Have you ever heard of a toilet?”
“Oh my, oh my, oh my,” La muttered to himself, wobbling up the hill, back to the ship. “Oh no, oh no, oh no, that can’t have happened.”
It was night time, it was late. He arrived at the ship’s airlock and let himself in.
“Where have you been?” cried Je, running to him. “You were supposed to have a quick look around and come back with any news!”
“I ran into a problem,” La puffed.
“A problem? You’ve been gone for three days! I thought you were dead.”
“Stop making a scene and get back to our room, I desperately need to get out of these clothes.”
Je looked him up and down for the first time. “What’s happened to you La? You look different. Have you’ve lost weight?”
Re asked, “This toilet thing, can you get me one ?”
La hollered at the top of his voice, “I can fly! I can fly, I can fly, I can fly!
“I’m promoted?”
“Yes,” said Bert, “We’re putting you in charge of the alien investigation. We’re sending you out to the desert!”
Bert finally came to his office, all smiles and praise, “Brilliant!” he said. “Fantastic!” he wiped his hands through his hair, it didn’t look any better as a result, and sat behind his desk. “You have single-handedly caught your first, OUR first alien being!”
“Really?” I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t hearing. Bert faded. I would be kicked out of The Ministry for sure, fraternising with an alien species on a Ministerial sofa. It was more than my job was worth.
Perhaps it was for the best, perhaps I should be fired. I could go out west, into the desert, infiltrate the secret underground facility and break Re out, set him free.
That would be hopeless. He would go back to his people, he’d lead The Ministry directly to them then they’d all be caught, and I’d end up in jail.
Perhaps I could locate his friends. Yes, that’s the best plan. Find out where he lives and find his friends. Surely they, a superior race, would be do a better job of breaking him free. Then they could leave this planet, take me with them? Oh yes, I would lose my job for sure but that wouldn’t matter. All I needed was to stay in the city, go back to Petersham and begin my search from there.
Bert’s babble regained focus with the last phrase I expected to hear, “You’re definitely getting a promotion!”
-o0o-
‘Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness.’ Re sat at the table, his entire body overtaken by the most excruciating pain. There was no beginning and no end, it seemed to be everywhere. There was something happening inside him, like he'd been seeded by some alien creature and the offspring was ready to break free. He tensed his muscles and scrunched up his face but the pain only got worse.
Some force, some almighty event was happening down below, in his jumpsuit, round the back. He couldn’t hold on any longer. A small explosion ecchoed around the room and Re felt instant relief.
He opened his eyes and looked around the table, now his three interrogators looked distressed.
“Oh my, oh!” one of them exclaimed. “How long have you been holding on to that?”
“I don’t know, but I think there’s more to come!” he was embarrassed and disgusted with himself. Never before had his body lost control in such a manner.
“You mean you don’t know what just happened?” asked one of the other interrogators.
“No, but please forgive me, it won’t happen again.”
“You mean to say,” said the third interrogator, “that was your first fart?”
“Is that what you call it? Is it commonly done here?”
“Yes," said the first interrogator, “we all do it.”
“Oh, well, perhaps you could answer this question for me." Re paused, searching for the right words, "I have another sensation in my body, similar to the fart thing, but this one seems to have more ... substance. Should I perhaps be concerned?”
“I think we should all be concerned,” said the first interrogator. “Have you ever heard of a toilet?”
-o0o-
“Oh my, oh my, oh my,” La muttered to himself, wobbling up the hill, back to the ship. “Oh no, oh no, oh no, that can’t have happened.”
It was night time, it was late. He arrived at the ship’s airlock and let himself in.
“Where have you been?” cried Je, running to him. “You were supposed to have a quick look around and come back with any news!”
“I ran into a problem,” La puffed.
“A problem? You’ve been gone for three days! I thought you were dead.”
“Stop making a scene and get back to our room, I desperately need to get out of these clothes.”
Je looked him up and down for the first time. “What’s happened to you La? You look different. Have you’ve lost weight?”
-o0o-
Re asked, “This toilet thing, can you get me one ?”
-o0o-
La hollered at the top of his voice, “I can fly! I can fly, I can fly, I can fly!
-o0o-
“I’m promoted?”
“Yes,” said Bert, “We’re putting you in charge of the alien investigation. We’re sending you out to the desert!”
| 75 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
