Part 33 – Workout
May 4th 2008 07:31
At first it had been funny when Hu couldn’t do her hair and the hot water system broke down so La couldn’t spend days on end wallowing in the tub. But Ru stopped laughing when he tumbled down the staircase (the lifts had given out) and broke his leg. That’s when he discovered the ‘Doctor In A Box’ was inoperable and the break had to be re-set without anaesthetic and left to heal with a large prescription of bed rest.
“This has gone too far!” he spat at the others during what had become their daily ‘What’s broken now?’ meeting at his bedside. “Every day the list grows and we are helpless. We must find the cause of the decay, stop it, fix the broken systems and get off this planet.” He shifted nearer his computer terminal and said to it, “Computer, are you any closer to finding the cause of the failures?”
Words flashed across the terminal screen. All attempts at communication had been reduced to abstract verse…
“Everywhere you go it follows,
(misty rain and blazing sun).
Close your eyes to see the blooms
(open the door and enter the world).”
Having retired, Margaret closed down her school of martial arts, sold her terrace in Glebe and choose to spend her retirement years living with her sister in the pub. She hardly seemed a day older.
Myrtle too had retired, no longer working the bar with an iron frypan, she and her sister spent most of their time sitting in the Ladies Bar sipping middies and reminiscing.
Their Niece, Suzette, now ran the bar and the sign, ‘room, board and worldly education in return for kitchen duties and bar work’ was still in the window.
Suzette was the only child of their only brother. He had gone away to fight in the war and never returned. Suzette, of French birth, had only appeared recently. When her mother had died she decided to find her Australian family and worked her way around the world as a nanny. On her mothers side she came from a long line of Parisian café proprietors so had excellent qualifications to run a no-nonsense, inner city pub.
Margaret and Myrtle, astounded by my adventures and weight gain, welcomed me back into their lives as if I was family and no time was wasted resuming my training.
It was a long haul to regain my form but there was no rush; I’d abandoned my flat and left no message of my whereabouts at The Ministry. Re had no way of contacting me either but that was not my greatest concern.
The Ministry would come looking for me, of course, but I had no fear of its success. It had taken them decades to find an alien living right under their noses, there was little chance they would find me, as long as I was careful. I made sure the only people who knew I was at the pub were Myrtle and Margaret. I never met the staff or customers.
I began each day with a pre-dawn 14 mile run - in laps of the pub’s 1st floor veranda. This was followed by 2 hours of weight training - lifting beer kegs in the basement. After lunch I had an exhaustive Martial Arts session with Margaret followed by lessons in nutrition and healthy eating with Myrtle. Every night, before I fell into bed, I tried to squeeze into my body suit. No matter the quantity or quality of traininig from my mentors I would not be ready to take on the aliens until I knew I could comfortably fit - zipper closed tight from crotch to breast - into my suit, my uniform, my armour.
The going was slow, the decade ended and a new one had begun before I was ready. The 1970’s swung and I was a buff, beautiful, blonde, fifty-something-super-spy with the right attitude, the right costume and the right kind of ass to take on the world.
“I’ve got a job!” hollered Hu as she slammed the outer hatch and ran down the corridor looking for her friends.
Things were getting desperate on the Beigebummjob; their sanitary and recycling systems had completely shut down. Je was forced to learn about plumbing so she could install a manually flushing toilet and Ru and Hu set-up water collection tanks in the parts of the ship that protruded above the ground. Thankfully they still had Life Support but there was no guarantee for how long that would last. The ship’s computer had all but shut down and was incapable of telling them anything of use.
All they needed was money for food - as Hu looked more human than the others it was decided she would go into the city and find a job.
She found the others in the dining room dividing the remains of the food into rations. They clamoured around her on hearing the good news, asking questions all at once.
“When do you start?”
“What are you doing?”
"How much does it pay?”
She filled them in on the details. “It’s quite funny really. I’m to be working with alcohol. I’ve got a job at a bar, in the pub where we had our first beers! I’m to work the early shift for 5 days out of every 7. My boss’s name is Suzette. She has told me I am to be paid an hourly rate and in my spare time her aunt will teach me how to cook,” she beamed at her friends. “How fantastic is that? Money, food and cooking lessons!”
“This has gone too far!” he spat at the others during what had become their daily ‘What’s broken now?’ meeting at his bedside. “Every day the list grows and we are helpless. We must find the cause of the decay, stop it, fix the broken systems and get off this planet.” He shifted nearer his computer terminal and said to it, “Computer, are you any closer to finding the cause of the failures?”
Words flashed across the terminal screen. All attempts at communication had been reduced to abstract verse…
“Everywhere you go it follows,
(misty rain and blazing sun).
Close your eyes to see the blooms
(open the door and enter the world).”
-o0o-
Having retired, Margaret closed down her school of martial arts, sold her terrace in Glebe and choose to spend her retirement years living with her sister in the pub. She hardly seemed a day older.
Myrtle too had retired, no longer working the bar with an iron frypan, she and her sister spent most of their time sitting in the Ladies Bar sipping middies and reminiscing.
Their Niece, Suzette, now ran the bar and the sign, ‘room, board and worldly education in return for kitchen duties and bar work’ was still in the window.
Suzette was the only child of their only brother. He had gone away to fight in the war and never returned. Suzette, of French birth, had only appeared recently. When her mother had died she decided to find her Australian family and worked her way around the world as a nanny. On her mothers side she came from a long line of Parisian café proprietors so had excellent qualifications to run a no-nonsense, inner city pub.
Margaret and Myrtle, astounded by my adventures and weight gain, welcomed me back into their lives as if I was family and no time was wasted resuming my training.
It was a long haul to regain my form but there was no rush; I’d abandoned my flat and left no message of my whereabouts at The Ministry. Re had no way of contacting me either but that was not my greatest concern.
The Ministry would come looking for me, of course, but I had no fear of its success. It had taken them decades to find an alien living right under their noses, there was little chance they would find me, as long as I was careful. I made sure the only people who knew I was at the pub were Myrtle and Margaret. I never met the staff or customers.
I began each day with a pre-dawn 14 mile run - in laps of the pub’s 1st floor veranda. This was followed by 2 hours of weight training - lifting beer kegs in the basement. After lunch I had an exhaustive Martial Arts session with Margaret followed by lessons in nutrition and healthy eating with Myrtle. Every night, before I fell into bed, I tried to squeeze into my body suit. No matter the quantity or quality of traininig from my mentors I would not be ready to take on the aliens until I knew I could comfortably fit - zipper closed tight from crotch to breast - into my suit, my uniform, my armour.
The going was slow, the decade ended and a new one had begun before I was ready. The 1970’s swung and I was a buff, beautiful, blonde, fifty-something-super-spy with the right attitude, the right costume and the right kind of ass to take on the world.
-o0o-
“I’ve got a job!” hollered Hu as she slammed the outer hatch and ran down the corridor looking for her friends.
Things were getting desperate on the Beigebummjob; their sanitary and recycling systems had completely shut down. Je was forced to learn about plumbing so she could install a manually flushing toilet and Ru and Hu set-up water collection tanks in the parts of the ship that protruded above the ground. Thankfully they still had Life Support but there was no guarantee for how long that would last. The ship’s computer had all but shut down and was incapable of telling them anything of use.
All they needed was money for food - as Hu looked more human than the others it was decided she would go into the city and find a job.
She found the others in the dining room dividing the remains of the food into rations. They clamoured around her on hearing the good news, asking questions all at once.
“When do you start?”
“What are you doing?”
"How much does it pay?”
She filled them in on the details. “It’s quite funny really. I’m to be working with alcohol. I’ve got a job at a bar, in the pub where we had our first beers! I’m to work the early shift for 5 days out of every 7. My boss’s name is Suzette. She has told me I am to be paid an hourly rate and in my spare time her aunt will teach me how to cook,” she beamed at her friends. “How fantastic is that? Money, food and cooking lessons!”
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